From A Brother To His Sisters

I just had a very disturbing conversation with this girl that is dating a friend of mine. When I met my friend 4 years ago he was dating girls. Note that I didn’t say he was straight because that would open another debate because he is now dating guys. 

To cut the story short he is now “doing boys” though he will never label himself as being gay. There is nothing wrong with that but he has taken the whole boys thing a little too far. 

When he introduced me to this girl I was very happy because judging by the way he was conducting his sleeping with guys, I thought I was gonna lose him within 5 years. This girl is a very pretty girl and she seemed like a smart woman.

Problem is she called me today and told me that she thinks my friend might be gay. Naturally I was a bit taken aback that she would divulge such info to me after just meeting her once. I questioned her motives. Was she telling me this because she wanted to confirm it? 

Anyway what preceded that revelation is what prompted me to write this. She told me that she knows he is not really gay. Her prove: Their sex life is great. I gasped. How could anybody be so gullible? Or plain stupid for that matter.

Let me tell you this sisters, if you think your man is playing for the other team chances are he is. It’s a 97.9 % that he is actually. Suspicions don’t just storm from nowhere. 

Now whether you choose to ignore that and be with them it’s your prerogative but let me educate you. Most men who are on the downlow are very dangerous. It’s a common knowledge thing that the forbidden fruit is always more appealing. 

Most of this guys have had to suppress their urges their entire life and when they come out of the closet they don’t just walk out, they fly out. My gay friends will kill me for this but I’m gonna be honest. A lot of these gay boys are sick. 

You would be shocked at how reckless most of them are with their sexual escapades. Not all of them though, there are many monogamous and decent gay men out there, don’t get me wrong.

Girls, forget about what you see on TV. Yes most gay guys are cute and hot but they are GAY. No matter how hot you are, you can’t change them. It’s sad when your boyfriend do it behind your back because you can’t do anything about it but when you know or even suspect, act on it. 

It could save your life. I am by no means saying straight men aren’t promiscuous or would never have unprotected sex. I also know that the downlow man is always taking the blame for situations that most girls could have prevented. 

Stop thinking you are special and immune to being used. Some guys have family issues that force them to have girlfriends, wives and Thabo on the side just as much as some would have Jane. I know my friend and to hear this girl choosing to destroy her life like this saddened me.

I love my friend and its not my place to tell him what to do with his life. That however means I have to sit by and watch naïve girls like this girl throwing themselves in a pit of fire thinking they could distinguish it because they are girls. 

Yes the societal script says Girls should marry Boys and have babies but the reality is different. Be careful about this guys who are overly homophobic you will be shocked that they are the ones who have aboThabo on the side.

I have 2 sisters who are married to wonderful guys. I cant presume to know what I would do or say if any of their husbands turned out to be on the downlow. 

I would however hope that my sisters would be smart enough to kick their conniving behinds to the curb. Keeping up appearances only works if you are alive or happy. Believe you me even if he says he is not gay or he will never sleep with a man while dating you, the odds are against him. 

He may want to be with only you but just as a straight man could never commit themselves to a gay relationship, a gay man can never commit himself to a straight relationship. 

If he’s bi-sexual and you know it then good for you atleast you cant come crying foul later when he dumps you for Thabo.

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