It's Over

So another relationship withers in the dust. My friend thinks I will die alone and miserable because I’m too picky and impatient. Ok, maybe I can be a little impatient but why prolong the inevitable? Sometimes you know when it’s over and you spend 5 years with that person knowing very much that you would rather be with someone else.

I do not want to be caught up in a 12 months break up… hell even a 12 days break up is too much for me. I know relationships are about tolerance, compromise and blah blah blah... for me it’s all about being happy.

When I wake up in the morning and turn to the person next to me I need to be happy that they are there. I know you can’t always have butterflies when you see your boyfriend or girlfriend BUT you still need to be fascinated by them. I wanna look at you even at your worst moment and still find you interesting. 
  • Once that is over then what could we possibly have? 
  • Sex is great but does one really wanna be in a relationship where sex is the only thing you have in common with your lover? 

I’m not saying one should not work on the cracks in the relationship, by all means if you think the relationship is worth saving stay and fix the problems you have. BUT when you know it will never work why prolong the misery?

Granted, every breakup hurts. No one likes being a failure, well atleast I do not, and every break up is a result of failure from both parties to make it work. Im distraught but I also know that the pain would still be the same later even if I had chosen not breakup now.

Of course sometimes one needs to try and remedy the situation. If you never really take the time to try and fix certain relationships you may just end up dating 20 people in a year. Does that make you a slut? … you meet someone, it doesn’t work out and you dump them and meet someone else until you get to 20… Keeping up appearance serves nobody but the vanity of those who subscribe to it.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend may be hot, all your friends think you guys look so cute together and you just hold on to that when you know very well that all you two are is just that; CUTE TOGEtHER!! I have been in relationships or held on to some just because of the compliments that we got.

Pathetic, I know, but when you live in a world where it’s not what you know that matters but who you seen with you can’t blame a brother for stooping that low.

Sometimes you stay in relationships full of drama, to a point where you actually end up being attracted to that drama. I just don’t have the energy for that. Of course now I’m older and wiser and much to my friend’s dismay I just don’t have the patience nor the will to put up with being in loveless relationships just because I don’t wanna be “the single one” forever.

Yes it’s gonna be hard going to parties with friends and they are holding on tight to their lovers because they think you gonna steal them. The mistakes I have made in previous years I can blame them on the folly of youth but there comes a time in one’s life when you can’t blame your foolish mistakes on external forces.

So now I take a stand, if it means Im gonna get old alone jaded and pretending to be happy till the day I die, then so be it. Better that than having somebody in my life that I cant stand but have no choice but to tolerate because that’s what’s expected of married folks.

I’m reveling in my singledom and on the quest to finding someone new… let’s be honest the notion that you can actually be happy being single is absurd… human beings were not meant to be alone. The laws of nature dictates that you feel lonely sometimes even if you can have sex with whoever you want, you still need that connection.

As I venture in this quest to find “the one” I can only think that if I do find a creature worthy of that title, could they come into my life to enhance it because that is the only way that our relationship would last? I’m also kinda tired of having exes everywhere.


Anonymous said...

Very true Phil.Good article

Anonymous said...

Very interesting reading and for a person like me who has just broken up a 7-year relationship, so relevant. Poses so many questions about why we do what we do and should we be doing that? - and what has happened to the real love that is cohesive - are we not being blessed anymore? Art

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