Senzo Dlomo Is A Man

Sbusiso is on a tirade because his son, Senzo is GAY … or as he put it, he is STABANE. For the past two weeks most soapie lovers have tuned in religiously to see the drama unfold on Generations. Episode after episode Sbusiso comes up with more ways and words to degrade Jason and Senzo’s relationship.

He angrily tells all and sundry that Senzo is not his son, he wanted a son not a daughter, Senzo is not a man etc. Just last night he sat at his dead sister’s grave and uttered that he blames her for keeping Senzo from him. He inebriatedly claims that had he been around to raise him he would have taught him how to be a MAN.

Black man, what defines you?

                       

- Is it the way you talk in your kasie-slang?
- Is it the number of female conquests you boast about to all who care to listen?
- Is it the number of years you have spend in jail?
- Is it the number of babies you have fathered and barely take the time to know?
- Is it the size of penis and the myth about about your sexual prowess?

Black man, who are you?                       

• Are you whiped if you let your wife work while you look after the house and kids?
• Did you earn that CEO position because of your capabilities or did you get it because someone is trying to right the wrongs of the past?
• Can your voice be heard without you having to burn something or berate someone?

These are but a few stereotypes that will live with a black man for as long as society allows a man to be defined by somebody-else’s idea of what a black man… no a MAN should be. Juxtapose that to a stereotype of black Gay man.

A black gay man ‘s voice is muted, his existence is swept under the carpet and his pain is silenced by secrecy. Stereotype like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and when the eyes of those who see you are clouded by ignorance, fear and contempt your life is worth nothing more than the fact that you still breathe, much to the disappointment of many. 

A gay black man is always caught between society’s distinction between what a man and woman should be. Our genders are defined by societal roles set to suit someone’s vain notion that one gender is superior to the other.

                  

Many can look at Senzo, feel pity for him and hate Sbusiso for what he is doing to him. BUT if you found your son in bed with another man would you laugh it off? It’s easy to love or hate characters on tv because after 30 minutes you can change the channel and go on with your life.

Many would boldly say “I don’t have a problem with gays. I have gay friends” but how much do you know about that gay friend you have except for the fact that they are fun to have as friends. 

The stereotype is that gay men know all the right places and people, a gay man lives a life of glamour… ever taken the time to know a gay man outside that stereotype? If a black man can never be just a man without being defined by the colour of his skin first, can a gay man be a man without the shred of shame?

Can you call Senzo, “that guy” and not “that GAY guy”? when you tell other people about your friends, why is Thabo not “My straight friend Thabo” but Senzo is “My GAY friend”?

                                      

Before you judge Sbusiso for his prejudice, take the time to look within yourself and you will see the same monster lurking inside of you. A man like Sbusiso can be scorned for his public display of hate because his is a trait that offers an easy answer to a fault that lies within us all.

A gay black man often carries the brunt of blame for the degradation of African culture and the emasculation of THE BLACK MAN. To the world, a black man is the epitome of masculinity. 

Society pays homage to a man boasting about his muscle clad, chiseled, fit, toned, hard and mascular body. He is a Mandingo, a supposed embodiment of perfection and sexual machine.

This is a thought shared by majority of our population on earth and as flattering as it may be, it's still objectifies black men and degrades them to being sub-human beings who contributes nothing to humanity in terms of intellect but just sexual stimulation to those who deem themselves superior.

Much as there is more to black man than just his Shaka Zulu warrior looks and supposedly huge penis, so is in a gay man. Gay black men are not all Somizi Mhlongo.

           

Sbusiso’s misguided hatred and prejudice reflects more about his own insecurity about his manhood than it does about Senzo. Senzo is more of a man to be able to stand tall and love Jason regardless of what such a bold move has cost him.

Sbusiso and like minded bigots like him ought to know that a gay man is more than just what societal stereotype deems him to be. He doesn’t always watch soaps, know everything about fashion, not sexually promiscuous and definitely not rich. He is someone’s son, a brother, a father, a professional, a law abiding citizen, a god fearing person and most of all he is a MAN.