Let's Get This Straight

I just got fed up with the constant meddling into my being gay or not so I felt compelled to write this message to my tvsa.co.za readers

Ok, I told myself that I will not entertain silly tactics by people who clearly have a bone to grind with me but don’t have the balls to actually come out and say it. I consciously put myself out there when my blog got popular.

It was a decision I made and I take full responsibility of all the back lash that comes with having yourself vulnerable to the scrutiny of strangers. It would be hypocritical of me to write about other people and get upset if others poke into my personal life.

I decided to put my name and face on my blog because I didn’t want to hide behind an anonymous name on the internet and use that to berate other people.

My intention with this blog was never to dish out people’s personal affairs and I try by all means to keep the focus with the articles on the work the people I write about do and not who they sleep with. I can not stress this enough I AM NOT A GOSSIP blogger so what celebs do in their bedrooms is none of my business that is why I never expected my being straight or gay to become an issue.

Sadly some “annonymous’ people here and on other social sites feel that my sexual orientation is their business. Instead of just asking me this people have decided to create stories and attack my articles not on the merit of their contents but on who I date.

With that, I am going to nip this in the butt now before it gets out of hand. Hopefully by addressing this now we can all move on and start enjoying debating about fun stuff like the entertainment industry; afterall that’s what tvsa.co.za is all about.

           

Am I gay?

Not that it’s any of yall’s business, I am not Gay … I am Phil Mphela. I know you probably thinking “what the hell?” Here’s the deal, some people are comfortable with having labels that have nothing to do with who they are as human beings; I am not.

I have never been one to embrace societal labels because I have learned that with labels come expectations. Once people label you as something they inevitably expect you to live up to some preconceived notion of what that label represents and how you should behave.

I do not subscribe to that and I refuse to be drawn into that silly nonsense.

Yes, I date guys but that does not define who I am. People who like me or my work should like all of that irrespective of who I date.

My dating a guy has nothing to do with my personality, my work or just simply my being. I am Phil first and everything else is secondary to that. I just wish that you guys can appreciate me and my work based on that and not frivolous stuff like debates on whether I am gay or not.

Some people have claimed that I hide the fact that I date guys or as it’s always put; my gayness. I have never hid anything. If you are happy prancing around advertising your personal life that’s ok but do not expect everybody to follow that. It’s a choice that people make to live their lives in that manner.

I choose not to. I am not in the closet because I don’t know what a closet is. This exclusivity that is the norm among gay guys is something that doesn’t appeal to me. Whether you think I am fake or hypocrite for not living up to your pecieved stereotype that’s your problem not mine.

I am single now, my ex was a GUY and my next relationship will likely not be with girl. Sorted!!!

The Somizi Beef issue

   

                                                                    We two different people, why would I have beef with him?

It has also come to my attention that some gay guys in chatrooms are spreading this maliscious rumour that I have beef with Somizi. Some ridiculously state that I am hating on gays by writing negative stuff about them trying to please straight people.

This is ridiculous. If this people laid off the drama for a second and actually read Blaque’s Korner they would be aware that I have written about women in articles like She’s A Woman and I have also written about the identity of a black man in He's A MAN.

I do not look at the world through gender or orientation biased view. I write from a genuine observatory view.

The only reason why Somizi features a lot in the articles that I write about gay men is because he is the most famous black gay man in SA. I have nothing personal against him.

I admire him for having the courage to stand up for who he is and being a role model to young gay guys in SA. Do I think he is the best role model out there? Absolutely not but that does not mean I have beef with him. I just do not agree with the image of gay men he projects.

I made it very clear that my issue with that is that it perpetuates stereotypes and I feel that it is holding the gay community back… hell in some instances it is down right dangerous as young men do unsafe things to acquire materials so they can live up to those stereotypes.

A guy can not date guys and still be a guy without being accused of hiding his gayness and trying to be straight. This is silly. We preach tolerance for gay people from the straight world but gay men themselves do not miss a beat in trying to trash other people when they don’t conform to their ideologies.

Guess what? You might wanna look close to home before you go into some chatroom and call me FAKE and a HYPOCRITE.

I am not going to be some poster boy for gays just to please you or anybody else. I respect the struggle that gay icons like Simon Nkoli had to endure for me to be able to have my boyfriend and be happy BUT I will not be marching naked on the street on some PRIDE march that does not serve any purpose in my life. We are all individuals and should respect each other as such.

Just so we are clear I hobour no ill thoughts where Somizi is concerned but as he is someone who is in the public eye I will voice my opinion on his work whether he is gay or not. I was not happy with the Opening Ceremony choreography and had issues with the DIVO persona he is selling to the nation BUT I have also praised him on the work he was doing in Capetown for advancing the plight of tolerance for the gay community.

There it is. I hope this is now settled. Now let’s get back to what my blog is all about; thought provoking and debate evoking articles.

Thanks for supporting Blaque’s Korner and tvsa  

Much Love

Phil Blaqueboi Mphela