Trust Your Man But Verify

I have been so busy this week that I haven't had time to sit down and digest this bit of info about SomGAGA properly. In case you haven't heard, word is Somz told a reporter that he and his hubby are having issues and the thorn in his fabulous Louboutin'ed foot is his man's baby-mama and future mother-in-law. Say what ...


When will we learn? First of all forget about Somz airing his dirty laundry for us to chuckle over for a sec and think about this girl... Heifer, what the hell are you doing sleeping with gay man and having a child with him when you know very well that he has a boyfriend. So much for girls running the world. Why do girls still put themselves in situations that are just plain dumb. Guess what, sweetie, if you think he is gay chances are he is and if you know he is gay then you'll never change him so move on.

Back to Somz and his drama. So this boy knocked-up a girl whilst in a relationship with our beloved Somz. Hmmm... so no condoms there. Brotha just whips it out without even thinking about the potential that he is putting his life and that of his beloved in jeopardy. Wow interesting. Just when I thought Somz would be the first gay black public figure to tie the knot. ((Sigh))

Brothas will stray, we shouldn't entertain nor condone that behaviour but it's our reality. I always say, do your ish but respect me enough to wanna protect me and yourself because if you love me you will want to protect everything that I love... since I love you you better protect YOU for me. Narcissistic? maybe. Having sex with someone outside of a relationship especially without protection is the lowest form of betrayal. You not only just having fun, you are also dragging your partner into that mess because the consequences of such recklessness will affect them. You do it in the dark behind their back but when a baby or a disease comes along, your partner will then be part of it. Selfish!!

Anyway, I hope Somz and his lover are able to get through this and sort out their issues. Hopefully this is not going to be a tabloid fest. I know Somz needs to promote his CD and any publicity this days is seen as good publicity but for a change I'd love the people to concentrate on his talent and not his antics. I have it on good authority that his upcoming albumn maybe be his best work yet. Somz can give this industry the vavavooom it needs because he understands the power of being a full entertainer. If anybody can have a concert of Beyonce or Gaga's status is Somizi. He definitely knows how to razzle and dazzle. I may not buy his CD but I would definitely pay money to watch

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Let's get serious for a moment. The situation with the above story raises a very important topic that Mzansi should be having with itself. I have sisters and girl-friends and it pains me to know that someone  might someday come into their lives and destroy it simply because of sisters seems to be so gullible. Here is the painful reality, HIV is killing young gay men in Gauteng like flies.

Sadly not many of these guys will openly admit that they are gay nor be open about their HIV statuses. What happens is that some of this guys in their attempt to hide their sexual attraction to other men will sleep with women without a condom so they can have a baby with them. You have had it before... "Thabo can't be gay, he has a child" ... as if a gay man's sperm can not impregnate a woman.


Of course the downlow/after9 should not solely bear the brunt of blame in such situations. Sisters ought to start taking responsibility for their lives. Often times a girl will suspect that the boyfriend might be gay and yet she would still have a child with him. Trust your man but always verify.

It's a seedy world we live in. Sadly most guys who are in the closet get faces with rather precarious circumstances where any opportunity to fulfill that edge to have sex with a man does not always present itself in the most ideal way.

 Often since the after9 brother can't necessarily go to a gay club and pick up somebody he finds himself getting to hookup by chance and sadly sometimes a condom might not be in sight. If you only gonna get it once in a while, the fact that there is no condom ends up being an inconvenience you are not willing to entertain. Once he is done there he will then go home to his wife/girlfriend and fulfill his societal duties as a "man" in a relationship ... without protection.

It would be easy to demonise these guys but who's responsibility is it to protect your life? Boy, girl, gay... whatever, you are responsible for your choices in life. If you gonna sleep with anybody without protection, then you should be able to deal with the consequences.

Sex is so readily available these days with all these social media platforms. Gone are the days of getting to know someone first before you jump into the sack with them. Unfortunately, HIV is also that readily available nowadays.


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1 comment:

Mercedess said...

Phil i would probably fall victim to that name "heifer" because chances are, like this girl i have no idea who Somizi's man is so if he came up to me and we had CONSENSUAL sex with no protection i too would likely end up having a baby by him. I just think you were a bit harsh to the unsuspecting woman there.

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