FanMail: Behind Great Women Are Gay Men


Motlatsi Motseoile sent me this article to share it with all of you. I have some strong opinions on the subject matter but I will let you guys have your say first.

Behind Every Gay Woman
By Motlatsi Motseoile
Women are said to be pillars of our community, the queen of talk famously coined the line “educate a girl child, empower a nation” and this is true. Women are mothers, friends, bosses, they are everywhere and they are powerhouses. Khanyi Dlomo is an amazing entrepreneur, and has led women into an era of insight and conversation about the power they hold, this through her magazine DESTINY. 
Yes, women are forces to be reckoned with, you strike a woman you strike a rock (wa thinta umfazi wa thinta imbokodo). Behind every great man is an even greater woman. Here’s an interesting question, behind every great woman, is there anyone? The answer to this question is, there’s a man, a well dressed, informed and great man, he is the gay best friend. 
Many women have a gay friend, they were at some point called handbags, that was before men held their own bags. Gay men have been there supporting women since time started acknowledging them. If you ask a woman who helped her pick her gorgeous outfit, they will most likely say ‘my BFF John’. In this women’s month, the question is: have women, in their fight for equality, been there to help their best friends in their own struggle to fit into society? 
Men are never shy to say that they think homosexuality is unnatural, it’s satanic, it’s unAfrican, against God’s rule, and gay men have responded by being hostile to most men, until the lights go down (reciprocal). But women have benefited from these friendships. As they fought to be equal to men, did they lend a hand to the equality of gay men? Did they stop to say no you cannot say that about my friend, to their husbands, or are they the worst, the bedroom homophobes, who secretly wish that their pink friend will get a girl and live happily in silent conformity? 
I remember an incident with a childhood friend, who said to me that she was uncomfortable answering questions about my sexuality. I found this to be odd, as it somewhat said she herself was uncomfortable with the issue of my sexuality. After all, what is so hard about saying “yes my friend is gay”? There was also an encounter with a teacher who said to me “stop hanging out with girls, they have issues. 
I hang out with men, they are less problematic to deal with.” I found it odd that she saw no problem with her having platonic relationships with the opposite sex, yet I was being warned, by a woman even at that. There was also an episode with a female that left me thinking the world has gone crazy, when I had an altercation with her, she made references to me being gay, though we were arguing about her bad driving. Are women the bigger culprits? 
I have encountered gay guys who say they hate women, and I ask why, the answers are shocking. One friend, who is transgendered, so she is a woman, said they are competition, a gay friend said they are pretentious and act as though they know gay men, inside out, when they can’t tell that their boyfriend is cheating on them with a man. Yes there are isues here but the main point is, if gay men get on well, much better than gay men and straight men, shouldn’t they be there on the sidelines atleast, fighting homophobia. 
Is it a case of tit for tat perhaps? Or are women saying at the end of the day choma is a man, therefore he is in a good position as it is, I the corporate world? On the inverse though, friendships tend to live outside the world lace and that’s where the homophobia is housed. A friend of mine once said to me “I wonder how it would have been if I was with my ex, who is a homophobe?” at the time she was(and still is) with a very nice guy who has no qualms with me or other gays, and she said,if she had to choose, she would have chosen me. I ask myself this in private, would she really do that? The relationship between gay men and straight women, is an interesting one.

Straight women have fought a good fight, they have made strides and they have changed the world. They run the world according to Beyonce. The world has female presidents, it has female prime ministers and cabinets all over the world are doing the equality thing. Are there gay presidents, are there gay prime ministers? Yes this might mean the classification denotes gay men to just that, men who sleep with other men, but there’s a bigger issue here. If the world has female presidents, prime ministers and industry leaders, why can’t all these powerful voices and beings say something about the inequality that gay men (and the entire lgbti community) are being stifled by? 
If you can sit at a table with a man who sleeps with other men, go shopping with him, tell him your darkest secrets, why can’t you stand up when men, who are your friends speak hatred on him, when they beat him up or in your office when he is the subject of malicious gossip simply because he is gay? If gay men are as beautiful as women say they are to them, they too should join in and be activists. This because they have access to the homophobes, and if they stay silent, maybe indeed my gay friend is right, they are conceited, and my trans friend, who is about to join them, might be leading the pack on changing this. 
The struggle for equality is not gender specific but gay men have received the shortest stick when it comes to practically and realistically being equal and women have the power to change that.
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Thank you, Motlatsi, for your support and for sharing this thought provoking insight into a world some might not want to look into.

1 comment:

kev said...

And behind great men are gay women:)
I noticed that almost any celebrity has gay persons in his staff and I'm wondering why....maybe this is the perfect recipe to be successful. On the top rated gay sites more and more users are updating their jobs and many of them are working for big companies or important people.

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