What I Have Learned About Being In A Monogamous Relationship (Part 1)

Let's face it, monogamous relationships are not for the fainthearted. Committing yourself to just one person can be a daunting task but in these days of HIV, it could save your life. However unlike most safe things in life it needn't be boring and mundane. Being in a monogamous relationship can be fun and even fulfilling BUT you need to be prepared for it. 

The sad reality is that we have no control over what our partners can, will and/or are doing behind our backs. We take the leap of faith in trusting that the commitment you give to your partner will be reciprocated. 

Ever found yourself thinking, "this is not what I signed up for when I got into this relationship"?. Actually it is. You just did not realise it the day the two of you looked into each other's eyes and declared your undying love for each other.

I have learned the hard way that relationships are like any other commitment, be it in work or life. There more you put in, the likely you are to reap better rewards. You work at it everyday!

At some point in a relationship you need to let go of the fantasy. 

Girls, he won't stop peeing all over the toilet seat and not wipe it afterwards. Fellas, she ain't never gon stop yappin when all you want to do is watch the game. That's reality!

Before you commit yourself to a monogamous relationship you ought to be aware that some days you going to wake up from a good dream only to face the harsh morning daylight and see no reason to celebrate the gift of having that day — and that person in your life.

What I mean by that is that, once you let go of all the fantasy of eternal bliss, you will find that the reality of being in a monogamous relationship is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. 

Hard? yes. Frustrating? hell yeah. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale. Don't you think?

Yes, Thabo may be annoying at times but you know that when it counts he will be there for you. He may not have the trappings of our modern bling lifestyle but you know that he is a good father who strives to instill a sense of honour and pride in your kids and teaches them that life is not all about the bling.  

How about David... Yes he flirts with everybody he meets but he would never cheat on you. You are his and though many have tried to prove to their friends that they can break you guys up, their efforts have been futile. 

Good guys do not come wrapped in a pretty package all the time. It is up to you to see that diamond in the ruff. 

I think we need to get back to celebrating good guys. These days the bad boys (and girls) seem to have taken over and have become rolemodels while the good guys are shunned. 

The good guy may finish in the shower but at least he doesn't have to worry about sexual diseases!

Though everyone wants the fantasy, a great majority of us are fulfilled by the reality. You just have to allow yourself to mute the notion that life is so much better somewhere else or with someone else all the time. 

In a monogamous relationship, like any other, disappointments are unavoidable and inevitable. 

You will always meet someone hotter, funnier, etc ... Unfortunately, you will learn that even with them there will come a time when those attributes seem irrelevant.

With that — wouldnt you rather just stick to your boo and soldier on through the good and the bad.

Part 2.

"Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together."

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