Who To Trust?
A wise someone once said; To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. Oh how these words have been a comfort for me in times when I wanna beat myself up for putting trust before the fact that the relationship might not be working. Recently though certain events have ignited my frustration with lies and trustworthiness.
I'd even admit that I am at my happiest when I am in a committed relationship. I am an indoor kinda guy and not much of a club-hopper or a social butterfly so having that one person that becomes my boo is important to me. Unfortunately that has made me vulnerable to a lot of lies and betrayals.
Have we lost the ability to just be honest these days?
Few weekends ago a friend of mine showed up with some guys at my crib for a swim. At some point the conversation turned into online dating and a very familiar name crept into our conversation.
See, there is this guy that I am friends with on Facebook. A very smart and insightful guy. His views on politics and relationships always intrigue me. However, like me he has not really been lucky in love judging by the info he shares on his profile.
Recently the said guy has been head over heel because he has found love. The poor sap has been posting pics on Facebook. I am a sucker for happily-ever-afters so naturally I have been happy for him and a tad envious.
During this conversation with the boys one revealed that he has been sleeping my FB buddy's new lover for some time. They meet on a popular dating site. Naturally we were a bit skeptical because my FB friend and this dude seems to all lovey-dovey so we logged on to the site for evidence.
The messed up part is that as we were busy fake chatting to this dude on Mamba his boyfriend was posting pictures of them on holiday exchanging presents. Eish mara.
Obviously as this unfolded and it became more and more evident that my FB friend just found another shaddy character, it was fun for us but it slowly became sad for me.
Here you are trusting someone. You love this person and want to make them happy. You shower them with all the affection and trinkets to make them happy but it is never enough. While you busy thinking you are in love, the other person is just there for the ride.
It hit home for me given what happened last year between my ex and I. I genuinely felt sorry for my FB friend.
While it might be none of my business what people do in the relationships, as a humanbeing, I am fed-up with erosion of trust and honesty in our society. What irks me is that it has become normal that people lie and cheat. We have become so complacent that it is even expected that in a relationship there will be some indiscretions.
Seriously people.
Have we lost any sense of decency to such an extend that we have become desensitized to the vulgarity of cheating. It is not so much that you sleeping with other people behind your partner's back but the fact that every time you look him/her in their eyes and allow them to love you, you are stealing from them.
Yes, you are stealing their ability to trust because when they find out that you are nothing but a liar it ould jeopardise that ability to open themselves up to trusting other humanbeings.
As if that incident as not enough, on New Year's eve while at a party an acquaintance of mine showed up with someone while just few weeks prior to that he told me he was single and looking for love. Lo and behold, it turns out Mr has been dating this person for months. Why did he lie to me, it's not like we were dating.
It's lies and deceit everywhere.
I am sick of it. I am currently single and am hoping to meet someone and build a life with that person but now it is hard for me to open myself up to that possibility because my trust in people has been compromised.
How do I reconcile myself to the fact that everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt when all I experience and see around me are lies, lies, lies!
I have become a cynic now. When I see a couple on Facebook or in a restaurant I am already thinking; who are they trying to fool.?
I would love to have a circle of friends someday, build a home with someone and be kind to strangers without having to worry about what I am going to loose if I opened myself up like that. I do not wanna loose the ability to trust another human-being.
Thus far I am not doing so great, thanks to this decay I see in our conduct hen other people invest their trust in us.
Cuts, scars, bruises, lies and fake laughs. Fake smiles, constant cries and a horrifying past. Promises broken, lost loves.. and the “trust me” that didn’t last. - Anon
