Yeah I Cry Too Sometimes

If you have a parent, relative, siblings or a partner who supports you and you never have to face the world and its problems on your own, cherish and appreciate them for being there. Believe you me it is not an easy road, this thing called life, to travel on your own. I miss my mom, and I'm terrified of being in relationships because of the betrayal I have endured. 

Though I am proud of what I have achieved (and failures) on my own, I do wish sometimes that I didn't have to go through this without someone's support. It's nice to make someone proud when you do good. 

I am still struggling to get out of the mess that my ex left me in when the ungrateful SOB decided to clean me out. 

After years of putting up with his disrespect I have had to let go of another friend yesterday. A brother can only take so much and this time around I just had too much on my plate to overlook his selfishness and inconsiderateness. 

I'm human and I'm getting tapped out on being a strong guy who just soldiers on when things just keep disintegrating. 

Yah it's just one of those f**ked up Fridays. 

Yeah... I tend to say f**k a lot these days because I am getting pissed off of the unfairness of life. You work hard, do good unto others and all you get in return are disappointments and a big 'ol slap in the face over and over again.

For the record, before you think we all go through problems so I should stop moaning... well you know what.... that pisses me off too. Just because there are other people with problems, some even worse than mine, doesn't mean I have no right to be pissed off about mine. 

I am sick of people thinking they can put a moratorium on how we should feel. I am sick of being the guy who never cries, the guy who always dusts himself up and move on. 

Right now at this moment, I feel like shit. I feel defeated, used and alone. And damn I have every right to these feelings just like everybody else. Unfortunately I can't share these feelings with anyone,so I write.

@philmphela